We all know how very frustrating it can be when you feel you are putting 100 percent effort into achieving your health goals, but are not getting anywhere. Or at least not as far as you were hoping to. You force yourself out of bed every morning to squeeze in a HIIT workout or 8 km run, have quit eating any type of yummy carb and live on lean proteins and greens only. But as you get grumpier and more exhausted by the day, your belly seems to grow bigger instead of shrinking and those thighs are not willing to change one single bit either. More and more self-doubt is filling your gorgeous heart and you feel quite disillusioned about all your best efforts. You knew it all along, losing weight, shaping and toning up is simply not for you. You have tried so often and it has never worked.
If this sounds somewhat familiar to your experience with working towards this best version of yourself, then it is about time to look at things from a different perspective. Let’s first and foremost bust those obstacles that are holding you back and might look quite different than you expected them to.
The most common obstacles that stand in many of my client’s way of success originate within themselves and have less to do with the way they plan out their meals or how they train. However, they highly impact on how well they will be able to maintain their new lifestyle and translate into a form of living that will really get them those results they are after.
1.One of the biggest hurdles I encounter in most of my clients is: Self-doubt
Very sadly most people that come to me for support, guidance and empowerment with their diet and healthy lifestyle hold deep down the belief that they are not able to do this. When they come to me, they more hope that I somehow can come up with a miracle way which will even work for them…they believe in me…but not really in themselves. While this is very flattering, it means you are setting yourself up for failure. Until you can truly see and believe that you are actually the total expert of your own healthy life and that you so can be this most gorgeous, stunning, hot version of yourself, there is no way to it.
All this self-doubt will sneakily creep into the way of your amazing efforts and make you eat this chocolate cake full of refined sugar and unhealthy fats. And there you have got the proof – you knew it all along…you simply cannot do it. And because you are feeling so bad about it, a spiral of guild, punishment and more unhealthy behaviour is born. And let’s be honest, in that very moment you could possibly not be further away from the most vibrant, fulfilled, happiest, beautiful version of yourself.
2.The next big difficulty that stands so often in my client’s way to gorgeous success is: Lack of self-love.
All my clients are full of love. They adore their kids, husbands, parents, friends, animals and the environment. They even love me. But they really struggle to deeply and truly love and embrace themselves. So, how can they possibly work with the necessary care, devotion, persistence and strength if it does not come from a place of love. Obviously not loving yourself makes it very, very hard to care, nurture and look after your body from the inside and out. And I hate to break it to you, but unfortunately without this base your whole transformation project is doomed for failure right from the beginning.
Unless you are willing to transform yourself and your life from a place of love and respect for yourself, you will not be able to take the necessary action steps and follow them through long enough to give you those results you are trying to achieve. Transformation and change can only happen if you know your needs, deepest fears, desires, strengths and weaknesses and are able to lovingly embrace them and make them work for your cause. Gently and with patience, no self-loath included because this again will spiral guilt, more self-hate and more unhealthy thinking and behaviour.
3. I all too often also come across another enormous hitch – and this one is a very interesting one: Fear of success.
I know this sounds almost stupid…why would you possibly be afraid of actually nailing those goals that you want so badly? Let me tell you, fear of success is very real and very common and I get to observe this tricky way of self-manipulation all the time.
Too many of my clients are more than convinced that their worst enemy on this healthy road, is excess fat, lack of willpower, lack of time, lack of money, or not being fit enough, when in fact THEY are their worst enemy themselves.
It all has to do with this so very secure space called comfort zone! It is such a wonderful cosy, safe and warm spot…! You are safe here, no need to take any risks, to venture out beyond the unknown. No need to deal with any nagging fears like: Who will you be when you are you have found your most gorgeous self? How will this fit into your old world and life? Will you be able to maintain this gorgeous you?
However, staying in this all too familiar zone comes at a high price: there is no room for growth whatsoever! So, yes, this means you will exactly stay where you have always been or go back to the old you. No revolutionary changes included! No nailing of any goals!
So, if you are serious about your healthy mission, pay attention to this small voice inside your head and find a way to shut it out, so it cannot derail you from your journey.
4. Another big stumbling block towards your healthy victory is: Lack of trust.
We are talking mainly about lack of trust in yourself.
And you have got proof why you do not trust in your beautiful slim, fit self. Here it is: your long history of falling in and out of the much hated yo-yo cycle of unsuccessful dieting; your crazy jumping on and off the fitness wagon and trying every possible fitness class on this planet…simply to find that you are not able to maintain this healthy and fit life-style because it simply feels totally incompatible with your crazily busy life or your social life. You have tried. But truth is: You cannot do it.
And while my health and wellness coach is standing there and is explaining long and passionately why it hasn’t worked so far and why her approach does work:
“I simply don’t believe I can do it. I also don’t believe in the project itself enough…why should it all of a sudden? And hey, I don’t mean to be rude…it might work for her…but this is surely and truly mostly due to her lucky genes and her German rigid way of healthy living….”
Did any of these thoughts sound all too familiar…I thought so.
For the healthy-you-project to translate into a complete hit, you need to have enough trust in yourself (and in the program) to be able to keep going long enough to see results and form those new habits. If you cannot trust, you will give up way before you have even given it a real chance and come out of it with even less trust and smaller self-esteem than before. Yuk. Not good.
5.And lastly and very sadly, it is my experience that most of you are not triumphing over your less healthy habits because you are : Not listening to your body.
Somewhere along your long way of life you have completely fallen out of tune with this gorgeous, physical part of you.
It might have started early on, when your mother had told you to finish your plate, or rewarded you with treats, or made you eat spinach even though you were almost throwing up over it…Or maybe it happened a little later when you started paying more attention to those gorgeous advertised women everywhere around you, who looked so awfully different to you and you picked up on friend’s trying to copy those bodies with crash diets…Or you don’t allow yourself enough me time in your busy life and instead you comfort yourself with foods that make you feel good…at least for a brief moment before the guilt kicks in again and you need more of this food to make you feel good again…
There are too many roads that might have led you further away from staying in close connection with your body. Listening to your body means tuning into those cues of hunger, appetite, satiety…feeling when you need rest rather than do a long run…feeling your high spiked cortisol levels rushing through your blood and allowing time to calm and heal your adrenals…it also means that you realize when you are eating something that does not serve you and that bloating, diarrhoea, constipation or sleeping issues are not normal and should not be part of your day to day life.
Your body always wants the absolute best for you. It communicates with you all the time. So how about you start to listen again and follow what it tells you?!
Ok, knowing all this is one thing…and being able to do something about it a complete different story. I am no saint…and I guess I can only relate so well to all of the above because
I have had to overcome all and every single one of those obstacles. Yes, you have read right…I was probably the worst case of it all. So somehow this is a good thing, because it means that if I could do it, you can do it too.
So, as a next step find ways on how to overcome those obstacles. Remember to take it easy, one step at a time. Rome was not built in one day either and what you have told yourself or the way you have treated yourself all your life cannot be undone overnight.
But with lots of self-love and respect, great belief in what the gorgeous you is capable of, trust that you can and will do it, courage in that leaving your comfort zone is indeed awesome and that beyond it lies your true, most amazing self, and with a better connection with your wonderful physical self, your journey towards the happiest, most vibrant, stunning and fulfilled version of yourself lies free. What are you waiting for, gorgeous?!!! Go bring it home, you owe it to your self!