As I find myself standing in front of another massive life-change, I have to dig deep into those resources which I know will help me to safely sail across to the other side of this. To a new life, full of opportunity and different circumstances. And yet, I am totally terrified of jumping off this safe cliff I call ‘home’, I call ‘friends’, I call ‘security and safety zone’. This leap of faith into the unknown somehow does not get easier to take, even not with some experience. Scared, overwhelmed, sad, thrown off safe grounds and very much pushed out of my comfort zone are just some of those many emotions running through the entire me.
Accept your feelings and the change
Allowing myself to feel all those various emotions which naturally accompany all big changes in life, is the first step to accepting them and in doing so very, very slowly and gradually adapting to the idea of all the new. It is actually okay for me to feel excruciatingly sad at the thought that I will be leaving behind all those wonderful friends, clients and women I have come to love so dearly. It is also completely normal that the fear of the unknown, of starting all over again, weighs heavy on my usually light spirits. And magically giving those emotions the rightful space to be, creates some room for careful excitement that sits at the edge of those heavy emotions and awaits my readiness to let it in.
And while I am busy dealing with and accepting my feelings towards this sudden turn in my life, I might as well take a closer look at all the resistance I am experiencing towards this change – which is somehow quite unlike me. Inwardly fighting against something that is going to happen anyway is wasting a lot of precious energy which I now more than ever need to invest in creating the new. And as I take a deep breath in, I know that instead of trying to inwardly rebel and fight against this change, all I have to do is relax and go with it. I have to remind myself that in feeling naked, exposed and vulnerable, lies an enormous gift of extraordinary beauty and new possibilities. And as I deeply breathe out, I enjoy how much easier going with the flow feels like and I know all is good and always will be.
Build yourself a strong system of comforting support
I have never been a strong believer in that doing it all on your own in a kind of martyr way and dealing with all the many challenges life throws at you just by yourself is the best and most effective strategy towards happy banging success. Instead I believe there lies greatness in building a network of support. Many beautiful hearts and minds can achieve and do so much more than just one. And therefore, I find great comfort in the thought of surrounding myself with likeminded people, who I can relate and talk to and who share similar visions and dreams of health like I do. Translating this into action means that one of the first things I will do once I have landed on the other side of my cliff is that I will go to my local yoga centre and indulge myself in some wonderful refreshingly healthful, good vibes and connect to others who like I believe in holistic health and wellbeing.
For me this also includes surrounding myself with things I find soothing comfort and encouraging resilience in such as: this gorgeous lip balm which reminds me so much of a most treasured business connection I was so blessed with over the last few month, a stone that I believe brings me strength and luck, my gorgeous necklace that holds the warmth and love of my so dearest friend, my most delicate ocean mist diffuser that smells like my delicious past many oceans away, and my treasured essential oils who instantly take me on a feel good journey of beautiful memories but also amazing inner power. Equipped with so much warmth, love, strength, friendship and beauty, there is nothing I cannot do…even jumping from one end of the cliff to the other side and staying in once piece will become possible.
Nurture your beautiful self
Dealing with major life changes brings a considerable amount of cortisol pumping stress through my veins. So, this is a time where I need to nurture myself even more than usual and manage those stress levels of mine. I must make time for little rituals that help me to breathe more fully and deeply and calm my nervous system from fight and flight mode to a state that is more relaxed and does not accompany so many unhealthy physical consequences.
I instinctively know that the more I am now able to look after all that makes me so uniquely me, the better I will be able to master this challenging time in my life. This then will make me a stronger mum and make me more capable of helping my beautiful girls adjusting to all this change hanging around us.
And still, even though I know all this to be true and the principle of self-nurture is the only way for me to go if I want to get out of this in one sane piece, I am still struggling with doing it. One of those innate typical female characteristics: we are so fabulous at nurturing everyone else, all the time more than wonderfully and sometimes even to excess, but are at such an embarrassing loss when it comes to our beautiful selves. So, until it becomes more natural and kind of second nature to me to practice self-care, I will fake this one and do stoically and heroically one thing every day that will help me to destress be this best version of myself even when under great pressure.
Count your blessings
Yes, I might be freaking out right now with all the million things to do, all this totally overwhelming change and the so scary new, but if I look at it through the lenses of gratefulness, my entire panicked view changes. There are so many wonderful and totally amazing things in my life I am so absolutely grateful for: the wonderful health my family is blessed with, all the most amazing people I have been lucky enough to meet and who make my life so much sweeter and precious, the fact that I am living in one of the most beautiful and safest places on earth (sharks, spiders and snakes taken out of the equation) and that I have the opportunity to follow my dreams and live the life I want to live….to name only a few.
Honestly, how ungrateful would it be to dwell deeper into any feelings of gloom – considering. And how silly do all those trembling thoughts sound, now that I have put some real down-to earth perspective onto the whole matter.
Best of all, once you start with gratefulness, this wonderful feeling of thankful bliss, multiplies and creates a potent dynamic of its own. So, I will stick to its magical formula and start and end my day with 5 things I am grateful for and watch my chaotic world transform.
Stay in your here and now
Somehow whenever fear and panic kick into my life, my mind starts racing too. Far ahead of things. At a million rate per hour. To all the million things I will have to do in the next few months. But all this mind jumping ahead in time is not serving me at all. In fact, it actually paralyses me and the sheer thought of all these things on my endless to do list make me hit my-postpone-button. Not the device which spells ‘Be extra productive and effective NOW”. Arrgh. The last thing I need right now is any form of procrastination, or making things even more complicated and complex in addition to everything that is already going on in my life. What I do need is to be able to focus on the here and now. I need to concentrate and figure out what exactly is the next most important thing I really need to do, to get me from where I am now to where I want to be. One little action step at a time. No crazy bungee jumping ahead of myself creating more chaos and fear.
Along the same lines: Now is also not the best time to plunge into all those most wonderful memories of the past that tie me to all that I will soon leave behind. Remember the grass is always greener on the other side. As a much better and healthier alternative I might rather truly and full-heartedly treasure all those amazing moments and times warming my heart but without staying stuck in them and keeping me lost behind in time.
So, as I prepare to take off, I double check on my 4 parachutes whose strings I am holding tightly in both hands and which I know will open at exactly the right moment. And I smile to myself as I jump because I am confident now that I will not crash but sail, parachutes in place, as smoothly as possible through the storm onto the other side.